CAKE SUCKS!
by narutoprincess
Summary: A one shot story about three CSI's opinions on CAKE! WARNING: Scenes of randomness!


**CAKE SUCKS! - A CSI Miami FanFic**

**By: narutoprincess**

**NP: This is my first one shot and my first CSI Miami fan fiction. I'm excited. Hope you all like this. This was written in about an hour when I was hiding from my music teacher (I skipped band ;;). **

**--**

Today was Ryan Wolfe's lucky day. That morning he'd found a penny on the ground and now good things were happening to him. He'd met his new neighbor (a gorgeous brunette) and she seemed to like him. Now he'd just solved a tough cake and he was feeling pretty good. He went over to his favourite bakery.

"Ah Ryan! What would you like today?"

This was the chef. Wolfe looked around the bakery. There were cupcakes and pies of all kinds. Then he saw it. He knew what he wanted.

"Can I have a slice of that delicious looking chocolate cake there?"

The chef nodded and cut Wolfe a slice of cake. He put it in a bag and handed it to Wolfe. He thanked the chef and drove back to the lab.

Once there, Wolfe sat on the break room with his cake. He almost drooled staring at it. He whipped out a plastic fork and inched it closer to the cake. He made sure there were equal parts cake and icing on his fork. Then he slowly moved the fork to his mouth.

_Closer, closer..._

Wolfe could smell the chocolately goodness of the cake.

_Closer, closer..._

The cakes was an inch away from Wolfe's mouth.

_Closer, clo-GACK!_

Wolfe had put the piece of cake in his mouth but it had gone down the wrong way. He began to choke.

_GACK! GACK! GACK!!_

Finally the piece of cake came out of Wolfe's mouth. Wolfe gasped for air before he decided to exclaim something at the top of his lungs.

"CAKE SUCKS!"

--

**NP: Yeah, this may seem extremely random to you guys but don't worry. It'll all make sense in the end. By the way, I do not share Ryan's sentiments on cake. I had a piece of it tonight and It was delicious. It most certainly didn't suck.**

--

The piece of cake that had been in Wolfe's mouth had flown into the lab where Natalia was now working on some stuff for a case. She was listening to a CD Horatio had gotten her for her birthday. And so far she didn't like it.

_I want a girl with smooth liquidation_

_I want a girl with good dividends_

_At Citi Bank we will meet accidently_

_We will start to talk when she borrows my pen_

Natalia tried concentrating on her work but more irritating lyrics stopped her.

_She wants a car with a cup holder armrest_

_She wants a car that will get her there_

_She is changing her name from Kitty to Karen_

_She is trading her MG for a white, Chrysler LeBaron_

She tried concentrating on matching DNA but she couldn't.

_I want a girl with a short skirt and a_

_loooooooooooooooooooooooooo-_

Natalia pulled the headphones out of her Walkman. She then opened it, looked at the band's name on the CD and promptly snapped it in two. Walking over to the garbage can, she spoke.

"CAKE SUCKS!"

--

**NP: One more part to go. The song that was mentioned in the above part is called "Short Skirt Long Jacket" and it is actually done by a band named Cake. I do NOT agree with Natalia about them sucking either. In fact, I find that song kind of funny. Anyways, here's the last part. It's short, but it speaks for itself.**

**--**

The CD had not actually broken in two. It had broken in three. The third piece, a small fragment, flew out of the lab and landed right by Eric Delko's foot.

Eric had been searching around the lab, looking for Calleigh Duquesne. Now that he'd found here, however, he wished he hadn't.

Calleigh was kissing Jake Berkeley, a Fed whom Eric didn't like for Calliegh-related reasons (or so Alexx, the coroner, thought). Eric just stared before he interrupted their moment.

"CAKE SUCKS!"

--

**NP: So there you go! Does all the randomness make sense now XD! I am NOT a fan of CAke so Eric's opinion I agree with! Anyway I do not mean to offend any CAke fans by making this fan fiction and I hope you are not offended. I just wrote this for fun. Please review and read my other stories. I'm actually planning another CSI Miami fic. This time, though, it doesn't involve CAke.**


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